(no subject)

I edited my journal so that it wouldn't look like shit if you weren't using firefox... Unfortunately, now it looks like shit in firefox. Jesus, why can't all browsers just be the same?
  • Current Mood
    cold cold
coffee

Actually, it feels more like March.

If you don't understand the subject, consider yourself among the lucky.

For some reason, I've been remained in a wonderful state of being throughout the entirety of this day. The best and most perplexing thing, however, is that nothing out of the ordinary has occured! In fact, through a perpetual headache and lactose-induced pains, I've still managed to sustain my euphoric demeanor. Have you ever had one of those days where you can recognize all of your faults in their most basic of forms, yet despite their relevance and constancy, they have no negative impact on your current mental-disposition? I'm having one of those days.

I have no self confidence whatsoever, and I don't care.
I'm not intelligent, and I don't care.
I'm a gigantic bitch, and I don't care.
I lost money playing poker last night, and I don't care.
I'm a whiney fag, I'm a pasty geek, I'm an argumentative brat....
And I just don't care.

I danced around in my room after I got out of the shower for no reason, and with no attempt to accomplish anything.

Maybe everyone else feels this way all the time.
Perhaps I'm just too apathetic and jaded to realize how pitiful my existance is.
You know what?

I don't care!

And that's a complete lie!
  • Current Music
    Dashboard Confessional - Age Six Racer

(no subject)

I'm getting a computer! We're ordering it tomorrow night!

My parents said that they'd buy me one if we didn't have to go "through the trouble" of building it ourself, so we're getting a Dell. I'd rather be building my own, but at this one will have a 3.6 ghz processor, gig of ram, 256meg geforce 6800 video card, etc. So, although it isn't exactly what I would prefer, it's still going to be a good machine.

yay!

my epic quest to use the bathroom

I arrive at school today at 7:40, having finished off the last drops of my 6th cup of coffee just seconds before I emerged from the warm fortress that is my blue Volvo. Shortly after I step foot from the car, I am assaulted with the obnoxious whine of the school's fire-alarm.
"A drill at 7:45? How silly," I think to myself, continuing to walk toward the bathroom.
However, I quickly realize that this is not an intentional effort from the school to better equip us in case a real emergency occurs. Rather, I see a large group of football-associated seniors speaking in a blatantly facetious regarding, "how conveinent this drill was," and, "how they are ever so curious about who pulled the fire alarm." I roll my eyes at their feeble effort to escape class as I maintain my pursuit of urination.
As I walk across the quad, I begin to be regularly badgered by the teachers and administration who still remain on the main campus, being told that I must go to the field, despite the fact that I am not currently in a class and will therefore not be accounted for. I mumble icoherently in response, not about to be detered from my goal. However, to my dismay, I realise that the bathroom in the first quad is closed. This seems odd to me, but I nevertheless continue on my voyage. However, shortly before arriving at the bathroom nearest the gym, I am stopped by a teacher, who forcibly escorts me to the field. After standind there for roughly two minutes, not being acknolwedged whatsoever, the announcement is given over the loudspeaker that tells us that we may return to class. I begin swiftly walking to one bathroom, then the next, before realizing that, in the event that a fire alarm sounds, all bathrooms are locked.

I, for one, am greatful that the school takes these necessary precautions in order to ensure our safety. I mean, when I think of fire-hazards, the first things that come to my mind are porcelain, tiles, and the water system in general. After all, the flammibility of things such as wood or paper very seldom proves to be vastly detrimental, am I right? If it were not for the school protecting us from our own naive stupidity, some poor child such as myself would likely, in the event of a fire, end up trapped in a firey death-trap such as this, forced to experience our last solemn moments in the bathroom at Soquel High. Such a pitiful death, although the severity of this possible occurance can not compare to the sheer plausibility of it.

After exhausting nearly all of my urination-related resources, I decide to make one last attempt before resigning to my fate. As I begin to walk toward the public restroom in the nurse's office, I am stopped by the nurse, who allerts me that I am not allowed to use this bathroom unless I am sick. So, after producing a painfully forced imitation of a cough, I arrogantly continue toward the restroom. However, I am stopped once again, "for my own safety."

It is not until another twenty minutes later, at nearly 8:45, that I accept the fact that the school has no intention of opening the restrooms any time soon. I quickly barge my way into the nurse's restroom, where I urinate for a good 45 seconds. After exiting, the nurse attempts to stop me once again, but I continue to walk out of the office, uninfected.

So, I ask you, should it really be this difficult to use the restroom?
  • Current Mood
    apathetic KILL KILL KILL

(no subject)

It came! It came! My sheet music came!

I'm going to learn every fucking song in it, but not before I learn one song specifically.... It's such a beautiful song, I adore it. Unlike songs such as Liebestraum No.3 or Claire de lune that are easy to play but appear to be difficult, this song sounds simple but is actually rather hard to play. I mean, it's no Fantasy Impromptu (I can dream of learning that, can't I?), but that doesn't make it any less of a song. I know that no one reading this cares about my infatuation with the piano arrangement of Eyes on Me, but that's fine. Oh, and I don't just like it because I first heard it in a FF game, that's just a delightful coicidence. :)

This is a very dull post, and I apologize for that. However, I think all of you are probably sick of my whining at this point, right?

Nevertheless, I've got a lot of whining to do, so it'll probably end up showing up here eventually.
  • Current Music
    FF8 Piano OST - eyes on me

pessimism and realism are the same thing.

As children, we often possess unrealistic dreams of our future. Rational thought is overruled by the blind desire to pursue what one considers his/her "dream job". Due to our naivete, we are unable to recognize these goals as impractical and, in a more developed sense, obsolescent. With this age-induced influence acting as our motivation, we are able to see things as they would be if there were no forthcoming restrictions to be placed upon any facet of our existence, the presumptions of which would likely alter our opinions or desires. In a more simplistic form, we are attempting to write our future so that it is capable of providing us with what we have concluded to be the most advantageous set of conditions for our personal preferences. Neither the fear of self-incompetence nor the possible lacks of essential resources are able to hold influential power over our objective, as our youthful complacency is concerned only with directing us toward euphoria, in both a monetary and an emotional sense. In a way, it is only during these years in life in which we are truly able to recognize our partialities without being forced to take into consideration any irreverent circumstances, which have the capability to influence our decisions. So, with that in mind, why is it that we do not acknowledge these youthful desires as anything more than superseded aspirations from a time when ignorance overruled rationality? After all, do any of us really know what we want?
  • Current Music
    Muse - Escape